Get all 10 American Trappist releases available on Bandcamp and save 10%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Poison Reverse, Temple Song, Lamentations, Seg Fault, The Gate, Amuse-oreille, Vol. 2, Holy Moses (feat. Lesley Barth), Tentanda Via, and 2 more.
1. |
Split Horizon
02:30
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Far from the edge I’m lost
Taking my necklace off
Making a pact with loss to never be whole
Closer to death again
Willing myself back in
Begging for punishment
And I want to grow old someday
Giving myself away
I won’t make the same mistakes back on the ground
But what if my debt outweighs whatever the future pays
And whoever collects these days starts asking around?
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2. |
Seg Fault
04:02
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I kiss the ivory and piss away my person
Is it good?
Is it like me to taste of apathy and roses?
So many times I’ve been close to the surface
Before I changed my mind
Out of love getting drunk with no purpose
Come and collect me
It’s only temporary
Waiting in this body
More am I sedentary
She walks behind me
For if I lose my bearing
Once more to remind me I’m not alone with nothing to lose
So many times I’ve been close to the surface
Before I changed my mind
Out of love getting drunk with no purpose
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3. |
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I want to
I need you
And if it’s gonna be one or the other
I won’t cross the old gods
The old guards of the natural order
The same lie you won’t buy
When they pedal mercy for murder
How’s it feel when you hear it now?
That both of us should be everything we ever wanted for ourselves
It’s baseless
It’s reckless to suggest it’s one or the other
Shapeless
Rejected
Pitting us against one another
I want to
I need you
And if it isn’t ours to discover
It’s weightless if you let it
If you need it
You can get it
How’s it feel when you hear it now?
That both of us should be everything we ever wanted for ourselves
But you and I want the same thing
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4. |
Ruthie's Blues
05:22
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Salt in the wound
Head in the sand
Feet to the fire
Again and again
It’s never been good
It’s never been wrong
It’s never been easy
To think of you now out on your own
And if you’re lonely you’re not alone
There’s never been time to say how I’m feeling
Swallowing doubt at the end of the day
Taking my life back
Giving my love away
You called me again from the side of the road
Dead in the hand of a broken hope
And holding my breath I stayed on the line
I want you to know
Wherever you are
Whatever the cost is of falling apart
It’s nothing compared to letting it kill you
Swallowing doubt at the end of the day
Dressing an old wound in a new way
Now we’re talking it out but there’s nothing left to say
Taking my life back
Giving my love away
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5. |
Temple Song
06:14
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Because I wrote it on the wall
Because we dared to have it all
Because it held me where it hurts
Because in spite of what you’ve heard
There’s a price for letting go
There’s a reason people don’t
When you finally shed your skin
And find it buried deep within
Up from the ground
Tear it all down if you have to
Damn my timing
The world was mine then
Now when I get reminded
I want another one
But I won’t stop trying to find some pride again
If I can help remembering how close I was to giving up
Because I’m still alive and I wanna dive in
It’s not enough surviving
I want to break the spell
I’m gonna kiss the memory in the darkest part of me
I’m gonna leave the light on for everybody else
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6. |
Poison Reverse
02:21
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7. |
Lamentations
03:44
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Till I convince myself that you’re on my side
Till I can’t keep track when I’m looking back
It’s gonna hurt sometimes
But that’s loving baby
I only mean one thing when I wear that ring
It’s an endless pool
And the water is cool
You know I had my doubts
But now I can’t get out
I want to promise you
But it would never come true
I’ll stop changing when-
Then I’ll change again
Every moment I tried to be a little more like-
And I held her breath deep within my breast
It’s gonna hurt sometimes
But that’s living baby
I’ve only got one chance to bet our love against
It’s an endless pool
And the water is cool
You know I had my doubts
But now I can’t get out
I want to promise you
But it would never come true
I’ll stop changing when-
Then I’ll change again
Till I convince myself that you’re on my side
Till I can’t keep steady waiting for you to be ready
It’s gonna hurt sometimes
It’s gonna take your time
It’s gonna break your mind when it starts to unwind
It’s an endless pool
And the water is cool
You know I had my doubts
But now I can’t get out
I want to promise you
But it would never come true
I’ll stop changing when-
Then I’ll change again
There’s a pale light growing on a face that I’ve known
In the space between all my memories
And you hold me and say, “That’s a promise, baby”
“You’re like heaven to touch, and I love you so much”
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8. |
Orlando
02:19
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Orlando, what’s it gonna take to let go?
Bathing in the light of the window
Now we both know
You’re certain
Ready to put the work in
Doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt when
You’re drawing the curtain
Orlando, what’s it gonna take to let go?
Wading in the river shallow
Now we both know
You’re breaking
One hundred years in the making
Everything is yours for the taking
You and I want the same thing
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9. |
In A Mirror Dimly
05:35
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Heaven forbid me
Down in the country
Fearing the ending
Just how you want me
Tending the vision
Yours to position
Running on empty
War of attrition
But I’m not angry, how could I be?
If it was ever really up to me
And you had just told me what it is you need
I would have let you watch me bleed
Splitting the difference
Getting some distance
Bearing the history
Gathered from inference
Tell me the worst thing you want when you’re hurting
Deep in the evening
When nothing is stirring
I won’t ask to see you again
I won’t tell anyone that we’re still friends
Whatever you make it
I’m sure I can take it
If it’s easy on your broken heart
But I’m not angry, how could I be?
If it was ever really up to me
And you had just told me what it is you need
I would have let you watch me bleed
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10. |
Lipstick
03:10
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All dolled up on the Frankford strip
I need a reason to live and I’m getting it
In every color in every shade
Out under cover a different shape
It’s the way to be
I was born another kind
Given a name I could hide behind
But I see them running wild up on east Girard
I’m putting on my face in the dark
It’s the way to be
Tell me lover can you understand
I’m just the same as I’ve always been
It’s the way to be
And there’s no changing my story now
Broke my heart and it all fell out
It’s the way to be
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11. |
Nobody's Laughing
06:04
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Heavy is the irony of paying close attention
Better to not anticipate the blow
These nights I cry I’d rather die than face an intervention
Fragile is the devil that I know
Oh, it’s a funny thing
What will the future bring?
I look around but nobody’s laughing
All the things you fear the most won’t summon that unholy ghost
It’s only when you’re getting close to letting go
There’s structure in the emptiness
There’s dignity in loneliness
And comfort in the devil
That I know
Oh it’s a funny thing
What will the future bring?
I look around but nobody’s laughing
If only I could close the door on what I didn’t know before
But it’s over and I can’t let it off
Oh it’s a funny thing
What will the future bring?
I look around but nobody’s laughing
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American Trappist Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
The American Trappist is a non-binary multidisciplinary artist, producer, and developer based in the greater Philadelphia area.
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